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I like it and I hate it

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Over this training and fundraising time, my opinion has differed a lot between being really proud of what I’m doing and absolutely loathing it. Is that weird?

I am so proud that I am making a difference. Team in Training as a whole will raise or has raised its one billionth dollar this year. I’m not sure if its happened yet.

I am a part of that. I am so proud that the $3,800 or more I raise will help the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society work to cure blood cancers and help patients and their families. The thought that I am helping to achieve something so significant is so amazing to me.

But then there are days when I ask myself “what did I get myself into?” There are days when I just want to quit thinking about donations and worrying that I will or will not reach my fundraising goal.

I’m ready to go. I’m ready to be done fundraising and I’m ready to run this race.

Team in Training has definitely been a love/hate thing for me. I really admire those who work in this organization, as I’m sure it gets tiring at times. I also really admire those who elect to fundraise again and again. That takes a lot of dedication.

I will be honest. I am very proud of what I’m doing, what I’ve achieved and what’s left for me to achieve in this program. And I will run other half marathons and maybe a full someday. But I won’t be doing it in conjunction with any fundraising program.

In one of my first entries on this blog, I wrote about how I’ve never volunteered to raise money for anything. I believe my exact line was, “I never even liked selling Girl Scout cookies, and those sell themselves.” This hasn’t changed that. While I’ve been taken out of my comfort zone a lot, I’m about ready to stay in that zone for awhile.

Don’t get me wrong. This is a GREAT program. And I totally recommend it for anyone looking to train for an endurance event. The support I have received as a first-time marathon runner has been the difference between my continuing to train and my giving up. Its an awarding and humbling experience. I think everyone should do something like this at least once in their lives.

But for me, it will only be once. Some people are made to raise millions of dollars for charity. I’m not one of them.


Author: Jessica

I am a running working mama. We work hard and play hard and I have a lot to share along the way.

One thought on “I like it and I hate it

  1. Hey Jessica – I read your blog because my friend and I are signing up for TNT next week. It really helped me to read that you had the same worries that I do! But, I am so glad to hear that it has been a great experience. Thanks for writing!

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