I feel like my life is dependent of the outcome of tomorrow’s doctor appointment. So silly, but that’s how I feel. I’m feeling very out of control of much of my life and it would be nice to get some of that back with a clean bill of skeletal health tomorrow afternoon. Of course I know that not much would change right away. I can’t just go from stress fracture to 20 mpw. But it would be nice to know I can do something. Right now getting cleared to exercise is a more likely event than getting a job.
I’m trying not to get frustrated, but its hard. Getting up early isn’t a problem for me anymore, but it would really be nice if I had a reason to get up that early. Getting up that early just to sit in front of my computer or watch tv isn’t what I mean. People toss around the words “talented” and “employable,” but apparently there are other people who are more talented and employable than me for the close to 20 jobs I’ve applied for. I don’t want to get stuck working for minimum wage at Target. But I wonder at what point I just do it just to try and replace some of my former income, not to mention keep myself from going crazy.